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Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Monday, December 14, 2009





 Who's jolly and cute,

Wearing  a beard and

a  red flannel suit,

 And if he is chuckling

and  laughing away,

 While flying around

in  a miniature sleigh,

With  eight tiny reindeer

to  pull him along,

Then  let's face it...

Your eggnog's too strong!  

Merry  Christmas 

and a  Happy 2O10

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Give Me a Sign

I was just reading another blog that had a picture of a funny sign. It brought to mind this one I took last year while in Florida. Remember how high the gas prices were in June of last year? This restaurant was next to my hotel. I don't remember the name of it. I certainly didn't eat there after reading their sign...

Monday, June 15, 2009

Keeping up with Ali

If moving the rest of the heavy stones in place wasn't enough! Ali brought her scooter up from her 'old' home and has been anxious to ride it on the bike path. So tonight we ate a light and early dinner and, after resting a bit, dug my bike out of the shed. I haven't ridden it in over a year. It's an old people's bike. When Hubby and I started riding, we shopped around for bikes with regular handlebars and big seats. We bought city touring bikes. Very comfy for us old fogies; and seven speeds are enough for me now. I'd rather go slower and enjoy the scenery. (no pain from bike butt)

Well, it seems I've lost a lot of coordination in the time since I last rode. Sadie wanted to follow us, so I pulled out my cell and called Hubby. I asked him to call to her, which he did, but she wanted to follow us. I turned around and rode back down the lane, across the creek where she could see Daddy. I told him to bribe her with food. He asked her if she wanted a treat and... end of problem! Or should I say beginning of problems...

I was sitting sideways across the gravel lane and began to lift my front wheel off the ground to turn my bike. Way too difficult a maneuver for me! I lost my balance and hopped sideways down the slope trying to regain my balance. All the while (like slow motion) I'm looking at the large chunks of rock waiting to gash my flesh. Somehow I managed to remain vertical, but still wounded my leg with the peddle... Just a minor cut, a big bluish lump and compound fracture of the pride bone. Fortunately, Hubby had already turned back toward the house and Ali was over the hill in the front. Whew! No witnesses! (somebody later blabbed)

So off we go. We live on the bike path, but it borders our woods; so the best route is down the driveway to the old highway. It's about 400 feet down the road. The traffic is pretty light since they built the new highway. We waited for a car to pass then took off down the road. Ali pushed her little legs as hard as they would go and we made it to the bike path before another car came along. We stopped to check out some really neat weeds.

When we were ready to ride, I put my foot on the peddle and shoved off, while swinging my other leg over the seat... the way I used to do without incident. OK, another bad idea. I didn't crash but it surely wasn't graceful! My bike turned across the path and almost went off the other side before I managed to regain control. More good fortune... It is a more remote section of the bike path and not heavily traveled. Only Ali saw this one. She understands Nana is old.

'It's just like riding a bike... You never forget." Don't people use that expression? What has happened to me? What if I open the pool this week and find that I can no longer swim?

My only saving grace was that Ali learned a scooter is not the best equipment for covering mileage on the bike path. She was worn out and ready to turn around at the first crossroad! Well, OK, if you insist...

Monday, June 1, 2009

The upside of asthma...

Do these glasses make me look smart?

I'm a night-owl. No argument from anyone that knows me. I'm trying really hard to be a morning person, but so far it hasn't been working. Hubby's son & D-i-L now attend our first worship service. Hubby and I wanted to go with them. I've tried. A couple weeks ago I went again to the early service (9am) with Hubby. My pastor is not boring! Even the kids listen. But there I sat, fighting to keep my eyes focused. He always claimed he wanted to be hidden behind the cross. Well, he just flat disappeared a couple of times! I got the message, but not the sink-into-your-heart-and-remember-it-later got it... (Would it be rude to stand and stretch?)

So Hubby's answer? He'll stay for both. Forget it! We're old people. (Well, maybe just not in the greatest of shape.) I've told him that's too much on him, sitting that long. Besides, there are chores, animals... So yesterday, we met in the foyer as he left and I came in with my mom. Last night I told him I'd try again. I do want to go with him and his.

Grand #2 will be spending the summer and she's an early riser. When she spends the weekends, her and Papaw have conquered the world and are back inside cooling off by the time I creep into the living room. Living in the country, the only chance she has to meet some kids her age is at Sunday school. Yep, 9am! Plus, I've found a soccer day camp program at a nearby Christian University for her to attend, but she has to be there by 8:30! YES, in the morning! I hate driving in the dark... Oh, it's not dark? my bad

Well, I found the key! Not that I advocate drug usage to cram more time into your day, but it seems my nebulizer meds have this really strong side effect. I thought once I adjusted to the newly added one, this would subside - but no, it's worse! INSOMNIA! (BTW - Is it Monday yet?) Unfortunately yes, to answer your question - I am still up. But so is the sun and I'm ready to start the day. Too bad 'The Nurses Bag' is gone; I've got some questions...

Saturday, May 30, 2009

What's his name?

Sorry about bombarding you with all these new posts, but things are happening in every aspect of my life right now, and I'm just overwhelmed with the urge to share. Following is my attempt at humor, even though this is pretty much word for word.

Some background info: My F-i-L is named J.C. That's it. Just initials. Gave him problems in the Navy. Tim adores his grandfather - puts him on a pedestal as all should. He has said in the past that if he had a son he would name him J.C. Just initials! I have to side with Jessica on this one. Hey, call him Joseph Christopher or something...

So now they have told us a girl will be Isabella (lovely) and a boy will be Brady (very country-sounding to me - I like it).

So we sit down to dinner tonight, me, Hubby and the in-laws and, of course, the conversation immediately turns to the new baby...

J.C. beaming: "I told them what to name it - James Cecil..."
Lily interrupts: "They're not going to name the boy Cecil. It's not a popular name in this day and age. He would probably get beat up on the playground. Besides, they said a boy would be named Brady."
"Well, I knew a guy named Cecil..." J.C. rolls on and on...
Hubby interrupts: "I know a guy named Cecil, Who do you know named Brady?"
Me again: "I imagine the girls go to school with boys named Brady - not Cecil."
Hubby: "Who do you know named Brady..."

My New Husband...

The last twelve hours have been a joyous ride! (miracles-do-happen) The baby news sure helped my dry-eye problem and helped loosen my sinuses! Just what the doctor ordered ;)

I've already contacted Hubby's ex about our joint shower. She replied with smileys. Of course, I posted the news here and a link on Facebook. Oh no! I forgot MySpace. Be back in a minute...

OK, I'm back. Sorry, had a couple of comments to read. Anyway, back to Grampa...

Since we are a middle-age hook-up, I never got to experience Hubby's new daddy days. I'm beginning to think it was probably a lot more emo than the new daddy days I had. He is funny! You know, that cutesy funny that you don't expect from 'that kind of guy'. Oh, I know he's got that soft side. It shows with our four granddaughters. He loves them more than life itself, but those are 'my' daughter's children. He loves my daughter too, but it's just not the same. I was a gramma when we met. He had his children at an older age (not much) so his son Tim was just graduating high school about the time Grand #1 started school. By the time Tim married, Grand #2 danced with him at the wedding reception (and had a serious crush on the groom.)

Now it's 'blood'. That little boy that followed him around with the plastic mower, is becoming a father. And I love his reaction! Last night he was in the living room watching his MAN shows when I came out and mentioned her 'positive test' blog. wanna-hear-secret So there we were, both of us wiping our eyes again...

A little bit ago, he came in, sat down and said, "Good thing I got five of those coin cards," with a mile-wide grin. He has been saving coins for the Grands and, believing this would happen soon, started one for Baby Isabella/Brady too. Last night when the lottery numbers came on the local news, he declared that we needed to win it to help start a college fund. (Better be a big jackpot. That makes five college funds and counting!)

Yes, it's going to be a wonderful seven months!

Friday, May 29, 2009

In the Out House (for women)

Everytime I behold this sight, I want to share it on my blog.
I'm asking you...
Could I make it any easier?

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Ohio Gardening Kit

A few weeks ago, Hubby picked up this gardening kit for me at the nearby Tractor Supply Co. I already have all the hand tools I need for the job, but he was thinking of me... sweet.

My old recycled steak knife was my most often used tool until the last couple of weeks...
This time of year in south-western Ohio requires some special items that you won't find in your run-of-the-mill garden shop. One would have to spend hours driving around town to locate all the needed supplies. We're all trying to save time and gasoline, right? So, I have decided to market a gardening kit made specifically for the Ohio Valley area. It contains all the essentials needed for the hobby gardener in this area... All shipped directly to your doorstep, so you don't need to be out in the flying cotton balls any longer than necessary. Please indicate your choice of Wild Cherry or Honey Lemon.
WARNING: Please check with your Respiratory Therapist before beginning any gardening activity. Some users may require a higher dosage of medication than contained in this kit.