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Monday, October 4, 2010

To Everything There Is A Season

...and this has been a season of goodbyes.  I resisted writing this post, but I knew I couldn't write about anything else until I got this out.  

You all know how much I love Maggie Mae, and how much concern I have over her age-related issues.  (Newbies:  She's a 30+ yr old thoroughbred.)  Lately, I've worried about her eye sight.   Her cataracts are growing and I don't know how she will react to near blindness.  Friends have assured me that I have things in place to help her feel secure even without the sense of sight.  I hope so.  I've battled her weight issue... it's been hard keep her at a healthy weight.  She can't chew well, so I make her a mash.  I finally started mixing my own recipe that seemed to get over a hurdle with her metabolism.  She has finally started to regain muscle mass.  Even though her physical condition is better than it was a year ago , I still planned in my mind the things I would do when it was 'her time'.

I vowed to never again part with Maggie Mae.  She will be here until the end.  That means that I needed a plan in place to take care of the inevitable.  I already had someone volunteer to dig the hole and help take care of the burial.  I'm not gloomy... just practical.  I had no idea that I would make that call so soon.  I was especially taken aback by the fact that it wasn't Maggie...

September 11.  That date has significance to most of us.  Now it has more to me... 

Everything was fine that day.  We were in a drought, so the horses were really enjoying all the daily pasture time.  I called them in for 'brunch' (my horses are on 2nd shift) and the three of them eagerly came.  Buddy and Nekoda ate in the stalls, while Maggie stood in the aisle for her mash.  Maggie is slow to finish her meal.  I was busy inside the house when Mr J asked me if I wanted him to let the horses out...


Returning, Mr J said, "You need to look at Buddy.  He's really sick."  


I don't want to rehash all the details here... the wound is still too fresh.  I will share that we had two vets come out and misdiagnose him.  When I finally took him to an equine hospital on Tuesday afternoon, it was too late.  They tried their best, but it was one of the worst cases of choke he'd ever seen.  He told me to take Buddy home and pray.  The doctor assured me he wasn't in any pain, but by the next day he would start to suffer.  If I didn't get a miracle that night, Buddy had an 'appointment' the next noon.

That evening I watched the sunset from Buddy's favorite pasture.  I sat in the grass beside him and prayed for a miracle that didn't come.  We buried him at noon on Wednesday.  

Rest in peace, Buddy, dear friend.


No matter how much
our hearts were broken,
no one grieved as much as Nekoda.
She looked for him for days.






To be continued...

6 comments:

DJan said...

Oh Lily, I hardly know what to say. I'm so sorry for your unexpected loss. Your pictures are so full of love and respect, it brings tears to my eyes. Rest in peace, Buddy. And my thoughts are with you all.

Lynn said...

I am so, so sorry to hear about Buddy. These lovely animals steal our hearts making it extremely difficult to part with them. I grieve with you.

Oklahoma Granny said...

I know how hard this was for you to write. Blessings to you this evening.

Lily Robinson said...

Thank you all for your compassionate words. They mean a lot to me.

charmine. said...

Oh,Lily!How sad to hear all this,I love animals and miss them much when they go,never had horses though.Hope you find comfort in the ones that you now have.Hope your maggie pulls through.Take care.

Marla said...

I know I already talked to you on FB about Buddy but seeing it here made me sad all over.

Hope you are doing better every day. I understand how hard it is to lose your Buddy.