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Thursday, March 18, 2010

20 Things I've Learned by Living with Old People

  1. You catch a cold through your feet.
  2. You need only wash the inside of bowls.
  3. Everything taste better rolled in corn meal and fried.
  4. Your doctor doesn't need to know all your personal stuff.
  5. You should only wear short sleeves from May 1st through the end of August.
  6. If your toe hurts, you are considered sick.
  7. It doesn't matter who it belongs to... Do what you want.  You're old.
  8. People love to hear old stories about another person's former work place.
  9. Every chair should be accompanied by a waste basket lined with a plastic grocery bag.
  10. If the TV is too loud to have a conversation, talk LOUDER!
  11. Deny doing something while you're doing it.  Who's going to challenge you?
  12. People do not have germs unless they are very sick.
  13. Any bill received must be paid within twenty-four hours.
  14. If there is an empty spot in the fridge or pantry, it must immediately be filled.
  15. Paper napkins can be used over and over again.
  16. If you own a computer, people all over the world can see you naked.
  17. Your checkbook should not show how much money you have in the bank.
  18. If they say it on TV, it must be true.
  19. You should not drive while it's cold.
  20. Never, and I mean NEVER, go outside with open pores.

10 comments:

Marla said...

Oh Holy Hannah....I miss that old man. Going to reline all my trashcans now with Wal Mart sacks.

Nancy said...

LOL!

Rae said...

Jeez. I knew I was old but you really confirmed it. I am sitting here next to wally world bags in my little trash can. The list is hilarious. The naked computer - yep my hubby warns me all the time about my computer camera seeing everything I do. At least I haven't seen any of my pics posted on line yet.

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Oh, you are hilarious!!! That you should think to write all this down!! Priceless!!! ~Janine XO

Olivia and Me said...

I can rightfully agree with 7 of em' there.

with love,
Olivia

DJan said...

Hey! I re-use my paper napkins for DAYS! What's wrong with that? So they get a little greasy, I throw them out when my hands get dirtier when I use them. :-)

SquirrelQueen said...

Funny stuff! Number 10 has always been a pet peeve of mine, the tv will never be on in our house if you visit.

#20. Open pores?

charmine. said...

Lily,this is sooo funny,but re-use of paper napkins?NO way!The elders in our family too sometimes say/do things that make us laugh.

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Lily, I knew it was original...this definitely is writing from experience ;-) I recognize so many of these...LOL...Have a wonderful weekend! Love, Janine XO

covnitkepr1 said...

So that's what I have to look forward to in old age...I'm only 67.

God bless the farmer and God bless you. I'm now a follower.